She’s a baby.

Diapers, band-aids, mean girls and tears.

Boyfriends and breakups, college, the beer.

A wedding, grad school and the career.

A house in Virginia, I wish she was near.

Has it really been so many years?

She’s having a baby.


A New Prescription


Wearing nothing but a sheer apron and stilettos, Barbara cooked dinner. The doctor must be crazy, but those little blue pills didn’t work for Bob. Feasting his eyes on her when he entered the kitchen, he declared…

“Yes! The flag has risen!”

Don’t Panic


“Mr. President, what did you do with it? Again.”

“Do with what, guys?”

“You know what, sir. The Red Button.”

“Oh, that. I gave it to Melia and Sasha. Children are way more responsible when it comes to things like world annihilation.”

A Valentine Miracle


Entering the lab, the cheese techs found bins in disarray. Resorting, they discovered an empty cheddar bin. Suddenly, techs from the Relationship Lab rushed in.

Out of breath, they confessed, “we took your cheese, but guess what? Everyone finds love with cheddar!”

Make a Guess


It’s annual raffle time. One dollar per guess for the date that Eliot Lake’s largest icicle will melt. But don’t bother. The town fortune teller always wins. This year she declares March 17 the date, and the puddle will mysteriously be green.